What Happens Next
You've recently lost someone dear, and now you're confronted with the daunting task of arranging a funeral. Like many in your shoes, you may feel uncertain about where to begin or what steps to take next.
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In this section, I aim to provide a brief overview of the process and how I collaborate with families during these challenging times.
“Unable are the loved to die. For love is immortality…”-Emily Dickinson
Choose Your Funeral Director
If you haven't already, you will need to choose a Funeral Director.
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They are equipped to guide and support your every step.
They will be able to advise and guide you on all aspects of the funeral. From arranging care for your loved one, registration of their death as well as any legal matters, to arranging the funeral date, time, place, etc...
Where I come in...
Once the Funeral Director has been engaged and you have decided that a Celebrant is what you want, they will call me to secure the date.
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Once I have taken the funeral I will contact you to arrange a date and time where we can meet, where I can gather information about your loved one through a series of questions.
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Typically choosing a Celebrant means that you are looking for something non-religious. However, if you wish to add a religious element, please know that this is completely acceptable.
Poetry or Readings
and Music
I typically weave at least two pieces of poetry or readings throughout the service, framing it with heartfelt expression. The selections can vary widely, and there are no definitive right or wrong choices. Whether read by a loved one as a tribute or by myself, the aim remains the same – to honor and remember.
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When it comes to music, there are no strict guidelines for selection. I've found that three pieces often complement the service nicely, but feel free to choose more if you wish. Ultimately, your choices will help shape a service that resonates deeply with your loved one's memory. To secure your preferred music, I kindly request your selections either during our meeting or shortly afterward.
Eulogy and Tributes
After our initial meeting, I will craft a eulogy based on the insights we gather. However, if you prefer to write it yourself, that's entirely acceptable.
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Tributes hold a special place in the ceremony and are encouraged if they aid in the grieving process.
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If you choose to deliver the eulogy or a tribute, I kindly request a copy for two reasons: Firstly, it allows for the natural ebb and flow of emotions on the day, ensuring seamless continuity if you're unable to deliver it. Secondly, many venues have time constraints, and knowing your intentions in advance helps me structure the service to ensure it remains on schedule.
What Makes a Eulogy?
Just as no two lives are the same, no two eulogies are the same.
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The more information you have allows me to create a fuller, more meaningful eulogy.
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However, in the case that you have very little historic information, gathering current memories from those that knew the deceased can also help to form a eulogy.
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Eulogy Questionnaire
This questionnaire is what I use in order to help me to get to know more about your loved one and the family's dynamics.
They also serve to "jog" the memories... something you may not have thought about can sometimes pop up. The more information you have, the easier it is in forming a eulogy.
I realize this can sometimes feel invasive or unnecessary, however, I would ask you to trust the process...
For those wishing to prepare for the future, this questionnaire can help... Completing these questions and placing a copy with your "last will and testament" can be beneficial to those left behind.
Approving Drafts
Once I have written the service in it's entirety, I will email it to the relevant person(s) for approval or for corrections.
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I will continue revising until the service draft is approved.
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If you have ordered an Order of Service from the Funeral Director then I will include this as well in the drafts you will need to approve.
For printing purposes, I will need to get this completed and approved quickly.
My Commitment
My aim is to assist those left behind in bidding farewell in a manner that brings them solace and comfort.
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I recognize the challenge of capturing the essence of someone unfamiliar within a brief timeframe. I acknowledge that despite my best efforts, there may be occasions where I may not fully succeed.
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Let's be honest – it's a daunting task to capture someone's life in words without knowing them as intimately as you do.
I encourage you to openly communicate if you feel the service missed the mark. Your feedback is invaluable to me, as I never want you to accept a service that doesn't honor your loved one or help you to say farewell properly.